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Bridging the gap between dreams and reality

Are you stuck? 15 questions to ask yourself

By Dr. Bev Snyder

Perhaps you are feeling stuck… If so, how do we bridge the gap between your dreams and reality? We could begin with either end, but let me tell you a bit about my experiences of being stuck so you know you’re hearing this from someone who has been down the road and knows about stuckness. Then I’ll give you a detailed outline of 15 questions

you need to ask yourself.

"There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.” - Douglas H. Everett

How my bridge was built

Why pay attention to me? I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for 16 years and had to break out of that mold to find myself. I had to discover who I was – what my values, desires and talents were to begin the journey. I had to live through a divorce that hurt all of us in order to be free to discover myself. I’ve been laid off several times from really good jobs, but they weren’t meant for me. I had to lose them in order to push forward to find out how to develop the best version of me. I had to work 3 jobs to make enough money to pay the bills to I could go to school, raise my teen-aged children as well as be single, head of household. And later, I had to leave the state I lived in to end a dead-end relationship that had no possibility of making me satisfied with myself or the relationship.

All this is to say I’ve been there and done that! I know what it’s like to be in your shoes if you are feeling a bit lost, wondering who you are and where you want to go and how to get there. You can help find yourself, support yourself along the way and celebrate your well-earned success! I am now in early retirement, having earned two doctorates, 4 masters degrees, the designation of Professor Emerita from a great state university and years of experience as a teacher, counselor, coach, counselor educator, gourd artist, work-out wanna-be and

more! No need to do what I did – you will find what works for you.

It takes people, especially God’s people, to support your faith and hope in a different outcome than the one you are currently on a trajectory for if you are feeling lost, like you are living an undeveloped life. Recall the words of the Psalmist when he spoke:

“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your

hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my savior and my God” (Psalm 42:5).

15 Questions that bridge the gap if you are feeling stuck!

So how can asking questions benefit you? Everyone gets stuck once in a while and these questions can help you find yourself, get strong and set meaningful goals to work toward. Read on and dig deep to discover the obstacles to your success and well-being.

So, let’s begin with where you are and note the questions you need to answer for yourself:

1. What’s not been working for you in your life?

2. Are there any high or low points you need to consider before proceeding?

3. What do you need help with?

4. How do you feel about your life up until now?

5. What are the three most important pieces that would help make a difference in your life?

6. Can you identify what you really want?

7. If you were to set a goal about your future, why is it important to you?

8. How serious are you about making a commitment to the goal?

9. How would you feel if this goal is not achieved?

10. How will reaching this goal benefit other areas of your life?

11. What other thoughts, feelings or ideas come up for you?

12. Are there other options you could consider exploring?

13. What do you have to do in order to achieve this goal?

14. What will happen when you do this?

15. What will happen if you don’t do this?

Everything you can imagine is real.” - Pablo Picasso

These powerful questions form the basis of moving ahead to bridge the gap between your dreams and the reality of your life. Working with these questions and your answers will allow you to propose your own solutions to problems and challenges. If you’d like to find some of God’s people to share your journey with, join the free Life Strategies group that meets on Zoom every Wednesday night at 6:30 for an hour or so. Contact leader Dr. Bev Snyder at for more information on getting connected. We would look forward to having you join us!


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