We Insist on Real Community

Sermon from Sunday, August 18, 2025

The Rev. Megan Collins

Watch Listen

As this school year started, I found myself thinking about my first semester in college.

My parents went with me up to school and we unloaded all of my stuff into my tiny little dorm room. Then . . . they just left. And I was alone. Well, not actually alone, because three feet away was my roommate who I had just met. That’s a weird conversation, by the way. “Hello, nice to meet you. I guess we live together now.” But even with my roommate right there, a few feet away, that first semester was pretty lonely. I was around people all the time, going to classes, eating in the cafeteria, living in a very crowded dorm, but I didn’t really have a community.

By my second semester, I decided I needed to do something to get connected. I had noticed around campus the groups of girls all wearing shirts with their greek letters. They were always doing things together, and they seemed so happy. Maybe that would give me the community I was looking for. I went to sorority rush. The girls I met there talked about belonging and sisterhood and that they were never alone. It touched that nerve, that deep ache in me that longed for all of those things. I wanted more than anything to have to belong somewhere. I pledged a sorority, and within a few weeks I too had the shirt, the letters, the handshake. (Yes there really is a secret handshake). I was in the group photo and went to a few of the mixers. On the outside, I fit in. But inside, I still felt that same ache.

In looking for a community, I had found something else: Conformity.

We dressed the same, talked the same, acted the same. It scratched at the same itch of wanting a community, but it was off. Because it wasn’t about being who I was. It was about becoming like everyone else. And I began to wonder . . . can I really belong if I can’t be myself?

Now some of you are just a little ruffled because you were in Greek life, and you’re thinking “Well, if you had joined the right sorority and been a Chai Latte Phi then it would have been different. Those Blappa Flappa Moos you joined are the worst." Maybe. But maybe you’ve also been part of something else that looked like community but was actually more about conformity.

You learned how to blend in. You said the right things. You wore the right stuff. You laughed at the right jokes. You followed the script. But then there’s still that ache. For some of you that wasn’t just a group you joined, it was your own family. You knew how to play the role and fit in, but you didn’t get to be who you really are.

We all want a place where we belong. We want to be known.

(Some of you are introverts, and are thinking “No, I’m happy to not be known by anyone.” But is that entirely true? You might not need 100 best friends (in fact, that’s probably your worst nightmare) but if you’re honest, don’t you need at least one or two people who know the real you?)

It’s this longing for a real community that often brings people to church. There’s the spiritual piece too, of course, but a lot of people who come through the doors of a church are looking for a place to belong. But then they go to a church and are told “you can belong here . . . if you become like us.” My sorority wasn’t the only place offering conformity instead of real community.

Churches do this really well too. There aren’t any Greek letters on the church doors. (But it would actually be appropriate to have them because the New Testament was actually written in Greek. Fun fact: when I got to seminary and had to take Biblical Greek, I already knew the Greek alphabet because I had learned it during sorority rush. I actually sang the sorority song to pass my early Greek exams.) But still, less Greek letters in the church.

Yet many churches still have their own rules of how to fit in with the group. You have to wear certain clothes to worship. Look a certain way. You have to know the insider language about how to talk, or how to pray. Your family has to look like a mom and a dad and a couple of kids.

You have to stand at the right times, sing at the right times, and make sure your kids are quiet. Sometimes everyone moves into the center aisle during the first song to put coins in a mysterious little basket at the front so you do it too to fit in, even though you have no idea why it’s happening. (That last one is us. We have that little basket. And last week I totally forgot to tell people what it was or why we were doing it. So if it was your first time here, I’m so sorry. It’s so weird if you don’t know what we’re doing).

But the rest of that list? What you wear, what you say, what your family does or looks like - that’s not who we are, not here. Or at least, we’re working really hard to make sure it’s not. We don’t always get it right but we’re trying. That’s why I’m excited about what is happening here in our church.I’ve been in plenty of places and especially churches (and I bet you have too) where people went looking for community and realized to belong they would have to fit a certain mold. But can you really belong if you can’t be yourself?

You deserve to be a part of a real community, one that doesn’t want you to be just like them, but to be you. A place where they don’t care what you wear and they think kids and teenagers are awesome even if - especially if - they are making noise. They’re just glad you came. You deserve a place where you can bring your whole self: your story, your past, where you were born, who you love, who you are, and still belong.

I believe that place can be here.

We’re in this series here at Maitland Pres called Built Different. It’s a phrase our kids taught us a few years ago and we are borrowing for this series. Dave and I believe there is something different happening here, in this space. We believe Maitland Pres is built different. During this series we are trying to put words on what we are seeing. The first week we looked at how we believe it’s never too late to start over. Last week Dave talked about how we fight to fix what’s actually broken. Next week we will look at the final statement, which is we love loud. Today is number 3:

We insist on real community.

In the book of Acts in the Bible, it tells the story of the early church. Jesus has died, and risen from the dead, and the early believers are starting to figure out what to do next. In chapter 2, we see this beautiful description of the earliest gatherings of Christians:

43 Awe came upon everyone because many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. 44 All who believed were together and had all things in common; 45 they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds[a] to all, as any had need. 46 Day by day, as they spent much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous[c] hearts, 47 praising God and having the goodwill of all the people. And day by day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved.

Amazing, right? We read this and think “the early church got it right. Look at that real community.” But by Acts chapter 11, the desire to get people to conform is gaining traction. What starts out as this group of diverse believers focused on caring for one another and sharing all that they had falls right back into old habits. Let’s take a look:

11 Now the apostles and the brothers and sisters who were in Judea heard that the gentiles had also accepted the word of God. 2 So when Peter went up to Jerusalem, the circumcised believers criticized him, 3 saying, “Why did you go to uncircumcised men and eat with them?”

So we’ve talked about this before, but the circumcision fight in the early church was a big one, which is valid. Maybe they were concerned with the law. But maybe it was like how the cycle of hazing gets passed on in sororities and fraternities. Like if I had to wear a banana costume and bunny slippers and serenade my chemistry class to join this group, then they should have to do it too. But it’s not a silly costume, it’s circumcision. If you had been told that to be faithful to God you had to be circumcised, then suddenly the rules changed and people who hadn’t had to do it were allowed to come join too, you might fight pretty hard for conformity too. If I had to do it to belong, they should have to do it. But then Peter tells him why he is suddenly hanging out with these new converts who didn’t have to conform:

4 Then Peter began to explain it to them, step by step, saying, 5 “I was in the city of Joppa praying, and in a trance I saw a vision. There was something like a large sheet coming down from heaven, being lowered by its four corners, and it came close to me. 6 As I looked at it closely I saw four-footed animals, beasts of prey, reptiles, and birds of the air. 7 I also heard a voice saying to me, ‘Get up, Peter; kill and eat.’ 8 But I replied, ‘By no means, Lord, for nothing profane or unclean has ever entered my mouth.’

There were a lot of rules for the Jewish community at this time about what they could and couldn’t eat, about what it meant to be a part of the faith. Leviticus 11 goes into this in depth, saying things like “The rabbit, though it chews the cud, does not have a divided hoof; it is unclean for you. Or “‘Of all the creatures living in the water of the seas and the streams you may eat any that have fins and scales.” Leviticus also says to not eat bats, which is honestly a good call. But for a faithful Jew like Peter to be told he could eat anything and it was clean would have shook him to his core. But the vision goes on:

9 But a second time the voice answered from heaven, ‘What God has made clean, you must not call profane.’ 10 This happened three times; then everything was pulled up again to heaven.

So Peter has this vision. He is told that what God has made clean, you must not call profane. Then poof, the vision is over.

11 At that very moment three men, sent to me from Caesarea, arrived at the house where we were. 12 The Spirit told me to go with them and not to make a distinction between them and us. These six brothers also accompanied me, and we entered the man’s house. 13 He told us how he had seen the angel standing in his house and saying, ‘Send to Joppa and bring Simon, who is called Peter; 14 he will give you a message by which you and your entire household will be saved.’ 15 And as I began to speak, the Holy Spirit fell upon them just as it had upon us at the beginning. 16 And I remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said, ‘John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.’ 17 If then God gave them the same gift that he gave us when we believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, who was I that I could hinder God?” 18 When they heard this, they were silenced. And they praised God, saying, “Then God has given even to the gentiles the repentance that leads to life.”

Peter knows his vision is much bigger than just food. God has shown him that all those things he thought you had to do to belong, to be faithful, weren't strictly necessary anymore. These things weren’t unclean. People weren’t unclean. They didn’t have to conform. They could just belong.

The point of the church was never to create a room full of people who are the same. The point was to create a community of people who wanted to follow Jesus together. The letters that come after Acts in the New Testament lift up this new diversity in the early church. Each person brings who they are. There are different people, different gifts, different voices, and they are all needed. The letters often use the metaphor of the church as a body - that we as the church are all parts of one body, but we’re all different. The hand isn’t the eye. The foot isn’t the ear, and that’s the beauty of it. Differences weren’t a problem to solve, it was the design. Real community doesn’t erase difference. It affirms it.

We want you to be who you are.

If you’ve ever felt like you don’t belong, maybe that’s the very reason you’re essential here.

And we will insist on making space for you, to be you. Now I know it’s hard to be vulnerable. It takes trust. Some of you have been hurt when you brought your whole self to other groups before. But this community protects people. It lifts up the voices that have been silenced, especially in church spaces. It says to the one who’s been hurt by religion: You belong, full stop, not as someone to be “fixed.” But as someone made in the image of God.

We’re not here to make us all look alike.

We are here to help each other become more like Jesus.

No one is perfect. All of us need to grow. None of us are here because we have it all figured out. We are here because we are saved by the grace of Jesus Christ, and we need each other.

Jesus is still working on each of us.

Jesus is still working on us not just individually, but together.

Sometimes we need to speak the truth in love to those in our community who need a course correction on how to be in this family. “Be yourself” doesn’t mean say whatever you want to other people without consequences. Our selfishness, our pride, our prejudice, our hurtful words, those don’t get a pass because they are just “a part of who we are.” We protect people here, but we don’t protect behaviors or attitudes that hurt the very people God loves. We don’t insist on polite company, or conformity, or the path of least resistance

We insist on real community.

That’s what we are fighting for here.

A place where people can bring their full selves and full stories.

Where people are protected

Where no one has to hide

Where everyone is expected to grow

Where all of us, together, are being transformed by the life-changing grace of Jesus Christ.

Let’s not settle for anything less.